I have a wicked sense of humor, and particularly when I'm feeling downtrodden or angry at the subpar condition of the world, it might unleash itself with a gleeful wrath. Recently I got a little fed up with the ascendancy and ubiquity of rather generic "fan art," and its success drowning out most other kinds of submissions here at DA, thus making it impossible for artists to get seen or have any hopes of selling their work. I decided to take matters into my own hands (or if not "matters" at least a drawing tablet), and lash out with funny fury at the fan art mentality, by making my own inferior brew of fan art. Over the course of a couple weeks I created 11 pieces, all deliberately horrendous in terms of anatomy, perspective, seemingly incidental unfortunate flaws, and other aesthetic barbarities. There were a few days where I was laughing so hard my stomach muscles got sore.

Here I humbly submit them for your enjoyment.

WHEN YOU ARE FINISHED ADMIRING THE CRAP OUT OF THEM, VOTE ON YOUR FAVORITE HERE: [link]



Pirates of the Caribbean [link]

I've never even seen this movie, but it pisses me off (sorry) because of all the goddamn, godforsaken, Pirates-fan-art I've had to slog through. I'm also a little bothered that the dude is wearing so much mascara, or whatever it is. So I really accentuated that and tried to make him look as ugly and stupid as possible. Note: Liked Johnny Depp in "Rum Diaries" (nothing against the actor, personally).

Next victim:



Naruto [link]

I don't even know who this dude is. Some blond ninja. I just got familiar with him through countless fan art renditions of him. Do generic fan art of Naruto and find yourself a demigod of art. I made this as cruelly distorted as possible. This is one sad-sack ninja! Make it ugly, and uglier, was my motto. The following are excerpts from critique/comments (hereon quotes from others will be set off in "blockqoutes" as below.):

wow! not even my dog could do this

A stunning realization of one of the most captivating animated series ever produced. Eric Kuns manages to perfectly capture the true meaning and feeling of what Naruto means to not only himself, but to millions of fans around the world. The depth presented in the character in the foreground perfectly compliments the striking motion of Naruto. The contrast between facial expressions also helps phone home the immense amount of thought and detail laid into this piece…

If Naruto is Japanese for "stinking wobbly pile of horse shit", then this is a faithful representation of the subject.

They called him Bruce [link]

Of course I know who Bruce is, and I'm rather a fan of his high-speed Kung Fu. The subject of the fan art isn't a problem here. I had fun exaggerating the scratches and blood one sees in his most famous portraits. There is also a joke about the semblance of his hair cut to that of Spock, or vice versa, depending on how you look at it.

Bruce and Spock all rolled into one, kickass, spaghetti sauce drippin' package. I wasn't aware, though, that his left leg suffered from malnutrition, that his left bicep was actually a 70 year old scrotum, and his right hand was attached to his arm the wrong way round.

Jimi Hendrix [link]

Hendrix was an incredible musician, so I'm not having a go at him per se, but rather at the myriad of rather racist depictions/caricatures of him that keep cropping up. Hasn't anyone realized that grotesquely exaggerating his lips plays into the tradition of "black face" and classic racist depictions of blacks? Man did I butcher that guitar. It looks like some sort of "floaty" for wading in the pool. Despite my best/worst efforts, this one has some merit and the music bellowing out of the neck of the guitar captures some of the quality of his out-of-bounds solos. The camel shadow is purely incidental.

Oooooh, it's a guitar! Sorry, I thought it was a wobbly, pink, pizza topping spewing, rainbow coloured squiggly shit generator. Oh, that's an afro! Sorry, I thought someone had dropped some steel wool into a bucket of purple dye. Also, it's well known that Hendrix was left handed, it's not so well known that he played using a pile of dog shit wearing a pink thimble as a substitute for his right hand. It's safe to say I'll never look at Jimi in the same way again.

Spiderman [link]

Spidey is often drawn in these really exaggerated foreshortened poses, usually with extended hands shooting webbing, and the unfortunate necessity of artists to render his crotch area. You know, I really had to work at butchering the anatomy here. I had to draw and redraw the muscles to get them just wrong. Finally I started inventing muscles and allocating blobs of meat where there aren't any, and putting them on the wrong sides of his joints (i.e., twin bulbous biceps below the elbow). His right leg was intended to flop away like the tail of a kite, and the incidental placement of his left foot is really deliberately unfortunate because it looks like a big Spidey priapus. Note that this piece has gotten several reviews, including serious ones and ones that are hilariously vicious. Below are a few excerpts of the critiques it's received:

You have been getting everything wrong because you are starting in an area which requires extensive knowledge to get right - muscles.

It looks like he has butts sticking out of his armpits. I don't even recognize any feet. All I see is a floppy tail and a red penis.  

There are no redeeming qualities from this artwork, there is nothing to teach or learn. The only thing that should be learned that trash like this should be burned and forgotten…  

The muscle structure is completely blobberific, it looks like a gumball truck which collided with a used prophylactic stuffed full of walnuts, and finally came to rest in a heap of oversized potatoes…
… this really makes an impression, in the same way that a lump of dog shit leaves an impression on a goatskin rug.

Arnold Schwarzenegger [link]

I'm kinda' OK with Arnoldo, mostly because of the those Terminator movies. He did once really piss me off because of a very persuasive speech endorsing Bush, in which he repeatedly hammered away with, "If you (insert perfectly reasonable sounding characteristic here): you are a Republican!" Anyway, a great opportunity for me to butcher more muscles, put a thumb on backwards, and give him a little, teenie, tiny hand in addition to one as big as his head.

I am so confused... does he only have one pec? Are you sure you aren't cross-eyed? Is this abstract?

dud ur wrk is ttly awsme, sry did i say awsme i mean shit.

The Little Mermaid [link]

Never seen the Disney version, but have seen plenty of  "Ariels" on DA. Among other clever innovations in making her a ugly as possible, I made the fish scales going the wrong way and continuing on up past her waste to cover her whole body, and her nostrils are innovatively on the outside of her nose (prompting one of my critics to describe it as a two-eyed trouser snake). I believe the crab may be doing something inappropriate to Ariel with one of his pincer claws. Can you blame him? Er, yeah, probably.

Hey, Eric, are you sure you haven't lost your mind?!

Her eyes are like diseased coral adrift in misshapen pools of seawater, which have been flooded with raw sewage. And BTW is that a nose, a two eyed trouser snake, or a salt shaker with double vision? Either way, it's an abomination.

Marilyn Monroe [link]

Not particularly a fan of Marilyn either, though I'm interested in the tragedy revolving around her personal life towards its premature end, which kind of makes me think of this piece:

She's beautiful, sure, whatever. I don't care. In lieu of me describing this image, other than saying the Picasso influence should be fairly obvious to the art-history-literate, I'll leave it to my critics.

Holy shit! Her right nostril has migrated to her cheek!

Yep, looks like her for sure, maybe two months after she died.

Sonic and Amy [link]

These game figures are enormously popular (not mine, but the originals), but I couldn't care less about them. I just went about inventing new ways to get everything wrong, nimbly taking cues from children's art and Picasso. You can see things like the socks from two distinct angles: the top of one sock will be as if looking down into it, and the other will be as if looking at the side. Appendages and features are moved and rearranged drastically (Amy's nose is definitely on the side of her mouth and not above it!), and the hands are rendered as if I didn't know what hands or fingers were and just used them as design elements. I also cleverly put the joined eyes in front of the character's muzzles instead of behind them. In the end this became almost a beautiful abstract composition.

cocaine is a hell of a drug

Drugs.

Zomg....I dont mean to be a dick,but it looks like they just got raped up the but...

Superman [link]

I used some of the same techniques I developed on Arnold, Spiderman, and Marilyn to transform Superman into a grotesque mutation and mockery of him. Note that the placement of the airplane and cloud make Superman impossibly large.

Why am I attracted to this

Superman by EricKuns is yet another classic rendering of a great superhero. Sure, the anatomy isn't perfect, I mean unless you call a bunch of grapes fighting to escape a giant blue condom "perfection". The anatomy is spot off, and those hands! Wow. Just wow. I love the red corrugated iron sticking out the back of his neck, too.

The thumb is especially beautiful.

this is craptacular how is super man is bigger than than the plane?i think you may need glasses.

Oh my God!! This is so realistic. I especially like the true-to-life depiction of his clenched fist and his 32948729387-pack abs.

Your process worked so well! It really does look like a real fist. Plus the scale of the airplane is amazing. It looks huge.

Some groups understandably didn't want him to join the ranks of their super heroes

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REJECTED BY:
  

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Gollum [link]

The last in the series. This one was quite difficult because he's already a monstrosity, so it was challenging to keep it recognizably him while further mutating him, while also making it look like a plausibly serious work. Please notice the Escher-esque perspectival mishap with his left hand, that is both behind and in front of his left leg. It might escape the casual viewer at first, but he could get the ring past his wrist and up over his elbow it's so big. Below are excerpts from comments. Nobody made a critique yet.

Looks he traded his foot with an elephant and let his hair grow.

More like a sunburnt ostrich

YTF are his nostrils on the outside of his nose? And exactly why have you made his right foot look like a malformed parsnip?

Not to mention the completely misaligned eyes on the foul beast!

I thought that was where he was clawing his way through the snotwork platform, and his fingers left impressions in the snot. My bad.

My Gollum was rejected by a half dozen groups which had sense enough to realize he was a joke, I think, though some of them let in just the kind of trite, commonplace fan art that this piece satirizes. Here are the groups that bounced it so far:

REJECTED BY:

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If this cruel injustice upsets you, you can venge yourself by faving the living shit out of my funny fan art and helping propel it up from the bottom ranks of deviations to the next lowest rung. That'll show 'em! Actually, can't really blame groups for bouncing deliberately bad art, and 19 groups accepted it, including this shit:

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Vote on which is my best Fan Art deviation in this slick poll: [link]

Finally, if you prefer serious art, that isn't fan art, or booby art, or cosply, or other DA-popular-fare, you can visit or join my contemporary fine art group here: